Alcohol and Tattoo Guns Dont Mix
This is incredible folks. Keep in mind as you are browsing thru this masterpiece of fail…all of these are on the same person. That’s right folks. One guy. Apparently, one evening where large quantities of alcohol were being consumed…one friend happened to have a tattoo gun…and that is where the fun began. Was the recipient unconscious when this took place? Oh no. Not only was he awake…he actually helped ink some of these himself. Let’s take a trip together and review these, shall we? We shalt.
We begin our journey here. In what I can only assume is a supermarket checkout line (seeing there is a cash register), where our hero is buying some nachos, a beer, a cigarette, and the head of Alfredo Garcia. It would also appear this supermarket checkout line is located inside of a toilet.

We continue from the stomach down to the leg…where it looks like all of the friends got in on the tattoo gun action and all signed this masterpiece of fail set to the shape of a skull. You will note the word “bruises” below this artwork. This brings up an interesting point…the only thing I would like to see bruised if this were me…would be all my friends faces for letting me in my drunken state do this to myself.

This location bears some resemblence to the inside of a foot just below the ankle. I can’t imagine the pain this tattoo would have generated for our hero had he not been so inebriated. I’m willing to bet I could have cut off his arm and sewed it on his ass and he wouldn’t have felt that either. This would be the hero’s archnemesis…The Little Green WTF Dude. Occasionally, they meet and clash in epic earthshaking battles of bibilical proportion…but we won’t get into those details now.

Based on the submission of these wondrous tattoos, I was told this is called a Hoob. I have no idea what a Hoob is and if they do actually look like this…I don’t want to know. Frankly, I’m not sure Hoobs actually exist. I think our hero is actually a huge fan of the movie Castaway and his favorite character from that movie is Wilson, the volleyball friend of Tom Hank’s character. In honor of Wilson, our hero decided a tattoo dedication was in order…and thus…it gives me great pleasure to present to you my Your Tattoo Sucks readers…Wilson.

Again, we are back to Hoobs…which I believe our hero uses as a code word to shield the embarassment of his fascination with Wilson. That being the case, we can translate this to mean “More Wilson”.

Our story concludes with a tattoo that was admittedly not done at the same time as the ones along the journey that we just completed. Nevertheless, I wanted to make sure it was also included since it is on our hero’s body as well. Not only does our hero have an unhealthy obsession with nachos and Wilson…he also likes Poon…and skulls. Seeing as how he had enough Wilson related tattoos and that one Nacho Toilet Checkout Line satisfied his nacho need…we have the Poon skull. I know when I think of getting some poon…skulls are the first thing on my mind as well.

As I mentioned, all of these were submitted together and was told they were all on one person. What I didn’t mention was that the submitter of these glorious tattoos…is none other than…our hero himself. Dean…I thank you for sending these in and for being a good sport. If you get drunk and want to tattoo any more random stuff on yourself…well you know where to send em. Cheers!!


(9.86 out of 10)
October 9th, 2009 at 1:06 am
If you’re curious as to what a Hoob is…. take a look at this. Lol, they actually exist, unfortunatly… Poor guy…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hoobs
October 22nd, 2009 at 2:01 am
[...] Yet) Loading … The tattoo owner of one of the more popular posts here on the site called Alcohol and Tattoo Guns Don’t Mix is back again with a new tattoo. This one is obvious that Dean did not do it himself which is [...]
January 3rd, 2010 at 10:04 pm
umm… i think it says “Jew Bruises” which concerns me more then hoobs
March 1st, 2010 at 3:16 pm
bananasandwich, I think it actually says “New Bruises”. It looks to me like the begining of the N is partially covered by his leg hair
August 25th, 2010 at 9:47 pm
hahaha i was lauging out loud. <3 the commentary. makes this so much more epic
November 17th, 2010 at 3:01 pm
i’m pretty certain that last one is for a local Derby-based music project called “Ponce” which i performed for… it’s just not the entire logo in the shot.
January 5th, 2011 at 10:34 am
Hoobs stands for HUGE and BOOBS = HOOBS
May 4th, 2011 at 11:10 pm
These are totally on different people. I totally know the toilet bowl/nachos guy and the ‘new bruises’ guy…
May 5th, 2011 at 2:44 pm
It definitely says New Bruises,guys. They’re a band from tampa… look ‘em up and you will see that the skull/fist thing is their logo. Awesome band, and I must tell you they were super stoked when they saw that those guys did that tattoo.
July 3rd, 2011 at 5:22 am
I assure you these are all on one person. ME!! ha. Yeah it is Ponce in Derby, and yeah New Bruises who are rad!! I have a few new tattoos to show soon when I get round to it!!
November 8th, 2011 at 4:15 am
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December 3rd, 2011 at 2:13 am
please ‘get round to it’ soon. i need a pic for my christmas card this year.